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I’m about to get a little bit personal, so bear with me. For years I had the belief that only bad things ever happened to me, and I was unworthy of anything good. I lived in poverty: I had no phone, no cable TV, no computer, and a very precarious means of transportation. I borrowed a lot of movies from the library in those days.
I didn’t realize back then precisely what it meant to be grateful. I was still young and had too many other things on my mind to put much thought into it. I didn’t realize the power of gratitude and that if I had focused more on the small, wonderful things I had available to me, I probably would have had a better mindset in those days. And trust me, it is not easy to feel grateful when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from. In fact, it seems impossible. And it feels even more awful when someone tells you to be grateful for what you have when it feels like you have very little and can’t muster up any feelings of gratitude.
But having feelings of gratitude can change your outlook on life and how you view the world. Today, I have more tools in my toolbox that help me feel grateful even when it feels like I don’t have much to be thankful for. One strategy is to see things individually. For example, when I borrowed movies from the library, I watched Ever After and George of the Jungle more times than I’d like to admit. But I remind myself that at least I had a TV and a VCR, without which I would not have memorized both movies in full.
According to Ryan Fehr, a world-renowned expert on gratitude, “During a difficult time, gratitude is more important than ever,” he says. “Research shows that gratitude can help us cope with traumatic events, regulate our negative emotions, and improve our well-being. More importantly, gratitude can have a positive effect on our friends and family, too. It’s a small way to have a meaningful impact.”
Having said all that (whew!), if you feel like it’s damn near impossible to feel any gratitude (especially this year), then check out some of the ideas below to try out.
1. Wherever you are in your day, whatever is going on, take a moment to stop, breathe, and think of 3 things you’re grateful for and at least 1 thing you love about yourself. It can be anything, big or small.
I am grateful for my cat, my snuggly sweater, and my family. I love that I love to feed the squirrels because they make me happy.
2. Step outside or open a window and take 3 deep breaths and connect with the air, earth, water, and fire elements.
Listen to the wind blowing, marvel at how dirt makes food grow, splash in a puddle, and feel the warmth of the sun.
3. Keep a journal.
Start freehand, writing whatever comes to mind. Then, write something you’re grateful for, even if it’s just one thing (maybe it’s a person). Try to do this daily, if you can.
4. Clean one room in your house (or just your bedroom).
Cleaning or organizing can help to shift the energy in your space. Try not to think of it as a chore, but instead as a way to connect with the things you have and find gratitude for them. Discard anything that makes you feel icky.
5. Dance to a favorite song and enjoy the beauty of the music.
Music is magic and can be transformative. If you aren’t in the mood to dance, that’s okay too. Find a song that you love and listen with gratitude that it exists.
6. Send someone a thank you.
Hey, thanks for watching my kid the other day.
Thank you for helping me out – it really means a lot.
Thank you for existing. You can add, “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” if you want to really pack a punch.
7. Help someone out.
This will help the gratitude go in two directions – your friend will be grateful that you helped them, and you will feel good about helping your friend.
There are so many ways to express or feel gratitude, ranging from huge to tiny. But remember, sometimes it’s the tiny things that can help us feel better on a daily basis.
If you’re interested in seeing how grateful you are and a few more tips on gratitude, here’s a quiz from the Greater Good Magazine by Berkley.
And, listen, if you feel like it’s impossible to feel gratitude, you need to know that there is nothing wrong with you. Your struggles are still real and valid. You’re not alone. Tweet
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